Your partner has informed you that he has been thinking a lot lately and wants to take time out of the relationship, or he tells you that "he wants break from each other”. So are you sensing then that it is the end of the relationship between you? Well when a partner asks to take a break in the relationship there is a reason for it, and it does not always lead to a break up rather it could make the relationship an even better one. But the reason for a break in any relationship is that there are problems in it and this is why the “break” is asked for.
So if you have been told “I want to take a break” from your partner, it could mean that they are leading the way out towards a break up, so how can you tell if it will lead to a permanent breakup or will the relationship get better. It is good to look out for clues which could have lead to this. If he just tells you out of the blue that he wants a break then this is not a good sign, rather if he has said to you that he does need to talk to about things and could he arrange a time to see you to talk then you know that there are problems in the relationship and he does want to find a resolution and he does not take it lightly to make a permanent break up with you.
What is also good for you is to find out where you stand simply ask upfront if he wants out for good, or just time out. Of course many problems could be avoided or easily be resolved by having a chat. So do speak up and ask is it a break up or only a break.
There are times when we will sabotage a relationship as we want it to end, and hope the other person will turn around and end it, sometimes we can be afraid to hurt the other person and start to avoid them etc just to get the message across that we no longer want to be with them. So any relationship can get into this predicament over time as every relationship does have its moments. So if you feel that you need a break from your relationship then do so go ahead.
You can you take a break without ending the relationship.
Sometimes when a relationship can get too much all we want is time out, this is where it is important that you do stress to your partner that it is only a time out and is not heading towards a breakup rather that you need to take time out for yourself for whatever reasons. So it is important that you both sit down and discuss and talk in detail what this will mean to the relationship and how long the break is for, if the break is for a long period of time then of course it will lead to a break up.
The rules of time out from each other
So it is best to lay down some rules if you are only having a break, such as are you both allowed to see other people, are you both taking a break from talking too each other or just in seeing each other, so are you allowed to text each other still, do your friends etc are they allowed to know about it, this is important that you do speak about these type of things with your partner. If you not discuss these things it could only cause major problems when the initial goal of the break was to fix the relationship.
Do decide on a time frame and stick to it
If you find that after setting a time frame and you do require more time or your partner does then do be open to this as sometimes it does make for a better outcome in the long term, as your partner will start to understand the importance of having you in their life, and that all the problems you have can be sorted out. So do be patient, also realize that it also gives you the time that you need to see if it really is working for you also. It could be you that turns around and tells your partner that you no longer desire the relationship to continue.
Pick a date night
When taking a break it is also advisable that you do meet at least once a week and make it a date night, where this night should be about discussing your relationship and any problems that you have with it. You could also use it to get back to enjoying each other’s company again. So it does have its advantages and disadvantages. Once again it gives you an opportunity also to see if you really do want the relationship to work out or not.
Apart from setting a date night you could also set time aside just to talk about what you have found in the relationship that it is not working for you, so see it as a time that you are both talking to each other rationally and logically without argument rather like friends that are doing their best to get to the bottom of it all.
Respect the rules
If you both have agreed that the break is for the best and you have set down your rules it is best that you do respect them and if you do break them then this means that you do not care enough about the relationship and if you do respect them then your partner will appreciate you for this.
Do not go seeing other people
Of course this is important also do not think this is an open ticket to go and see others and have a fling or two. As this will definitely not fix your relationship rather it would be the end of it all. After all you would not want your partner to go seeing others when you are on a break would you?
Time to think about the relationship
This is a great opportunity where you can really look at the relationship from all angles and see if it is working for you, what problems are real and how best to resolve them, how you contributed to the making of the problems, and what is at the heart of the relationship, is there a lot of betrayal, mistrust, jealousy, conflicts, anger, sadness if so why did these situations occur to lead to this.
Think of all the positives in the relationship
When you are taking a break from a relationship it means that it is in a bad place, but it does not necessarily mean that there have not been any great things about it. So do think about the positive things about the relationship and do share these with your partner. This is where your appreciation will kick in and you will realize that there is also good in the relationship.
Break time over
When the break time is completely over then this is where you both had lots of opportunities to seek whether the relationship can progress and what does need to change and strive to make those changes. Taking a break should be about taking time to think about how to make the relationship better, therefore when you do decide to give it another try you should have a clear plan about how you want to do things differently.
So do you need a break from your relationship?
If you find that there are constant arguments or you have also lost the ability to communicate with each other, or you are desperate for some kind of change then yes do take a break from your relationship. It does happen when we can get caught up in unhealthy patterns in our relationship that we cannot break out of no matter how much we try. A break gives you the chance to cool down and really consider all aspects of the relationship such as the good the bad and not so ugly. So does your partner outweigh the bad, do you still see a future with them?
When an opportunity to take a break from a relationship it could prove to be stronger than ever, but you do need to work at ways in which to fix things that are going wrong. So this is where you take the opportunity to analyse the relationship and see what is actually wrong and make plans on how you are going to fix it.