You could well and truly think to yourself that your partner does love you a lot, but is he really loving you or is it his way of controlling you. We all do try and control our partners in subtle ways this usually will happen when we feel like they are drifting away from you or are moving in a different direction to you. But the reason behind this is you want to make sure that their emotional state is still very much with you. With men there are two types of controllers where you will be able to identify with if you are with one. Controlling boyfriend which one is yours?
The two types of controllers
The first one to be aware of is he is the type that is violent and is physically and verbally abusive, and the other controller shows that he is caring and sensitive who will control you emotionally.
Of course it is easy to pinpoint the physically abusive controlling partner, where he will raise his hand on you for the smallest reason or will use force to tell you what to do etc then it is very obvious which type he belongs to. Of course he may love you a lot, but he has this urge to dominate your life and he could also possibly hurt you to the extent where you sustain injuries etc. if you choose to stay with this one you will be forever hurting.
If a man is emotionally controlling who does not dominate you, but he will find a way to cut out your legs from underneath you. You may not know that you are dating an emotionally controlling partner until it is too late. So we have listed signs for you to look out for that will help you spot the controller that much sooner.
The emotional controller
An emotional controller falls in love deeply with you and will treat you like a princess all the time, and he makes himself seem helpless and weak without you. In time you will find yourself feeling more protective about him, and of course will start to fall more in love with him. This is where along the way you will start to see signs that he is a controller, and if you do see these signs do put an end to them, and get out of the relationship if he will not change. Rather do understand that these controllers are insecure and are possessive, and they tend to forget where to draw the line when it does come to trying to control you. So at the end of the day, it’s in your own hands to fall for his ploy or change him for the better. Here we have the obvious signs that tell you to move on if they treat you this badly.
He puts you down
This is where you will put down for your attempts and he makes it out that you cannot do anything without his help. He will pick flaws in anything that you do, and will help you to achieve a better job. He will also show you disrespect in anything that you do and makes it out to you that you need them to make you a better person. Over time this will make you lose your confidence, as you will want his reassurance and help each time you try something new.
He doesn’t like it when you go out with your friends
He frowns upon it when you choose to go out with your friends as he sees them as a bad influence or he thinks that if you have male friends that they could be possibly hitting on you. He will start to chose your friends and tell you who you can go out with and eventually you find that most of your friends are no longer allowed to be in touch with you.
He’s insecure and doubts you
He plays mind games and tries to trap you with tricky, unnecessary questions. He tries confusing you into giving him contradictory answers which makes you feel like you are the bad person in the relationship.
He wants to know everything about you
This is where he will need to know everything about you including knowing your passwords, your secrets, etc and he does want to know about every single detail of your daily life, and when he does find out that you have not told him things this is where he will act out that he is in pain and is hurt by your actions.
He stalks you
He will want to keep in constant touch with you and will want to be informed about everything that you are doing even if it is to pop out to the hairdressers or have a chat with the neighbour.
He cripples you
This is where he will look for any excuse to prove his point. If something does offend or bother him, he will wait for an excuse to bring that conversation up to prove his point. They love saying to you “I told you so” and they want you to feel lost without their guidance in your life.
It might appear as cute at first, but as time passes his jealousy could turn into an obsession for you that could border on insanity. Of course we can all experience jealousy at times but when it is constant and excessive then that is a problem.
Its never his fault
It is always your fault, and anything that does go wrong it is all because of you and not him, and if you do happen to make a mistake he will constantly remind you about it.
He breaks down when you take a stand
This is where when you have had enough and confront them and make a stand, and refuse to listen to him, he may try and argue with you, and when he realizes that he cannot get his way, he may break down and cry about how you do not understand him anymore. What does happen eventually is that you end up giving in for his happiness.
It is true that every lover will have a controlling streak within them, but it is a fine line that does make the difference. A relationship shouldn’t change who you are, especially when you’re already a happy person. You should be the only one who can change who you are. You can help your partner if they have these signs and nip it in the bud as soon as it shows, if you do not then you could end up losing yourself instead.